It was February 10, 2023 and in the ambulance on the way to the other hospital, I stopped breathing for ten seconds. Thank goodness it wasn't any longer than that! They were able to get me breathing again, and hooked up to the ECMO machine at the new hospital. A lot happened while I was under. Not only was I on ECMO, but I was also on dialysis. My organs were shutting down. This was something no one in my family thought would ever happen. My children were terrified. My daughter, only 9 at the time, hates hospitals to this day. She struggled to come and see me. My eldest son, 14 then, fainted when he saw the blood being transfused in and out of my body. It was not a happy time. In my head a whole lot of things were happening! I couldn't hear what people were saying but my brain somehow new when things were physically happening to my body and it computed it into a dream that felt like reality. No pain. Just weird, oddly realistic dreams. More to come on that in another post!
The one week I was suppose to be in the coma turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. Two to be exact. I was in this induced coma for two months, or 59 days. During this time a few things happened. My heart rate went up to 325 beats per minute. They had to shock it back into rhythm. My heart stopped beating. They had to shock it yet again. The day my heart stopped beating my family received an urgent call to come to the hospital immediately. On more than one occasion they told them I would not make it. To everyone's surprise, I didn't die. To this day I am still learning of things that happened while I was under. Our healthcare system has an online login where you can read through your chart. Something I have found very fascinating as I learn about what truly happened to me. What a wild ride. My family was told to prepare for my imminent death on multiple occasions. Can you imagine what it must have been like for them? I can't. The thought of what my children had to live through is more taxing on me than the medical journey I actually endured.
Me in the coma on the ECMO machine
When they first hooked me up to life support the doctors told my family to prepare for my death. They only gave me a 40% chance of survival, and that was being generous they said. My husband and my mother in law stood outside the room in total shock. My parents didn't know what to make of the situtation, and my children were not told just how bad it was. But, that's okay. Life does not promise us a stress free ride. Life does not promise us sunshine and roses. What God does promise us is that He will be with us through it all. That He will work through any and all situations. That He can turn anything for good.
Romans 8:28
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
It was hard to see what good could come out of this in the moment. My family were crushed. They loved me, and it was a lot to process. But they held on to this promise and prayed. They rallied everyone they could to pray for me. They believed prayer would make a difference, and they held firm to that faith. My father came to the hospital everyday. He read the word of God over me. He prayed over me. He played worship music in my room. You think these things don't matter - but they do. They really do. There is a lot that happens that we don't see. Just the mere act of worshipping Jesus can bring about change. Not to say that this worship is what caused my healing, but what I am saying is that God instructs us to worship Him at all times; through the good and the bad, through the thick and the thin, through the trails and the triumphs. He is still God of it all. And if we worship Him and have faith we can see great miracles too.
Psalm 34: 1
"I will exalt the Lord at all times; His praise will always be on my lips."
So do I believe that the worship in my room was what healed me? No. What do I know? Well, I know God answered prayers. He honoured the prayer, the word, the worship, and He moved His healing spirit to save my life. Do I give all the glory and praise to Jesus for my healing? Absolutely I do! Does this discount or undermine what those at the hospital did for me? Not at all! Jesus used them. He equipped them. They worked hard to do anything and everything they could to save my life. BUT humans - we are limited in what we can do. We are limited by our abilities and our technologies. And sometimes, what we can do is not enough. And that is what they thought the case would be with me. They didn't think they could do enough to save my life. But, they tried. And with their effort and God's will, my life was saved. Praise the Lord! 🙌🏻
So now what? It's day 59 and it was time to see if I could survive on my own, without ECMO. If I couldn't thrive, that was it. They were not going to put me back on life support. This was the longest they keep people on ECMO. They began to prepare my family for what may happen next. If I was to survive coming off ECMO I would have brain damage. They had not seen anyone survive what I had been through and flourish. The lack of oxygen to my brain likely caused permanent damage. Please be prepared. Life will not be as it was. She will forever need care. Be prepared. Be prepared. This was the frightening and gloomy news my family was told.
But God...
But JESUS...
John 10:10
"The thief come only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."
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