I'm sitting on the couch surrounded by my family. It's Christmas Eve 2020. I'm rubbing my neck, and notice two small lumps - one behind each ear. I immediately think, "Oh no it's cancer." Why do I think this? I have never been a worrier before. I am not a hypochondriac. But this is the first thought that pops into my mind. I try to push the thought aside, and tell myself I will call my doctor in the New Year. The holidays progress and I fall into our regular routine of tradition and fun.
This is the beginning...this is where my journey begins. I had no idea what would unfold. I simply dismissed my initial concern as an over zealous, burden producing thought. You know how it is -- when you let your mind wander to areas it has no business visiting? This is what I thought was happening. Simply me. Lyndsey. Letting my thoughts run away with me. I told myself to relax, it was nothing and I would call my doctor and get it all sorted after the holidays were over.
We were in the thick of covid, but it was still a fun Christmas. Up here in Ontario, Canada we had some of the longest lockdowns around. But I had my family and a large 10 acre property to enjoy. My kids were 12, 10, 8, 7 and 2 at the time. Christmas is always magical in our house. I have been a Christmas fanatic for as long as I can remember, and I was determined this year would be no less enjoyable, despite the pandemic.
The innocence of my children opening their presents and enjoying the season will forever hold tight in my mind. Christmas is not just music, trees, decorations and gifts. It is the time of year we celebrate the birth of Christ. Yes, that's right. I am a Jesus follower. I love Him. This is a special time of year. A time we can come together and remember the most important and incredible miracle ever to happen - the virgin birth of Jesus Christ. The peace that resounds within my heart and spirit this time of year is unmatchable. Unfortunately, this peace and joy was being slightly upended by the growing concern of these two new lumps behind my ears.
My youngest son opening his present Christmas 2020
The concern I felt would not seize. And as the holiday ended I promptly called my doctor and made an appointment. It is now January 2021. I am heading to the doctors and fully expecting him to put my mind at ease. This he did. He assured me I was young and healthy. I'd never been sick and was probably just fighting an infection. This did concern me slightly, but only because I had not been sick in over two years. No cold, no flu, nothing. Quite an accomplishment when you have 5 little children at home! However, my GP let me know that I may be fighting an infection and not even know. That these lumps I was feeling behind my ears were probably just swollen glands. I left the doctor's office feeling as though I should be assured there was nothing to worry about.
I went home and continued to pray about it, but my concern did not cease.
And thus began 6 long months before I was actively diagnosed with cancer.
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